Sometimes you don’t realize how much you’ve missed something until you have it back. That is the thought that has struck me these past few days.
Mike and I arrived in Detroit this past weekend. We’re here for about a week to do some business. As we prepared for our trip, I found myself not wanting to leave Hawaii. I’m beginning to find my way there and I’m afraid to lose momentum. I finally made my first friend outside of Mike’s circle of friends and family. I found my way to a coffee shop without getting lost. I actually had a suggestion when Mike asked me where I wanted to go eat lunch. Not to mention the weather! I knew it would be cold in Detroit, maybe rainy. We’re leaving sunny and 82 degrees for that? I missed the people in my hometown but not the place.
But now we’re back. I drive down the streets I’ve known my whole life and I feel at home. I know where I’m going without having to keep the mountain in perspective to help me navigate (good thing too because there are no mountains here). Ask me where I want to go eat lunch and a dozen places pop into my mind; none of which serve plate lunches. The leaves turning yellow and red and bronze remind me that it is indeed fall. So different from my new home. This is what I’m used to. This feels like home.
But Hawaii feels like home now too. I wake up in the morning here in Detroit and look around for our dogs. It takes me a few moments before I remember they’re far away… in our other home. I wonder how Mike’s mom is feeling today but I can’t call her now because it’s 4am there. I ask someone, “You’re all pau?” They look at me strangely. I rephrase, “I mean, you’re all done?” My Detroit “home” has been taken over by my adult daughter. She’s removed pictures, changed things around, made it her home. I feel like a visitor in my own house. It’s all so strange.
So I ask myself, “What’s the lesson here?” That’s what I do anytime something feels off. Whenever I’m annoyed at a friend, or unsettled, or just feel like something isn’t right, I think, What is it that God is trying to teach me now? Maybe it’s that there is always something to miss when you move from an old home to a new one. Maybe it’s because Mike and I have work to do in Hawaii and we are being called to be there. Or possibly it’s just that my heart needs to grow big enough to call the whole world my home and just be at home wherever I find myself. It could be any of these things and more.
For now, I will just enjoy being where I am. I’ll treasure this moment in this place. I’ll savor today and everyday wherever I find myself.