One

 

As I set off on my journey towards self awareness and inner peace, I can’t help thinking that this world is seriously in trouble. All this conflict is getting in the way of my peace: the current political craziness, the environment, racism, homelessness, it goes on and on. How do you have inner peace when you witness so much chaos?

Our western culture is built upon what we can observe with our senses. Even science is built upon this, which is so ironic considering that there are things that we can’t directly observe that we know exist. For example, we know that dogs can hear sounds that we cannot hear. We don’t say the dog is crazy for hearing these sounds. We just accept the fact that they can hear things we can’t. Our culture is so focused on the self  and our sensory experiences and what we can consume that everything else has no value. That, to me, is completely horrifying. And it daily creeps in on my ability to maintain inner peace.

I was reading a bit about quantum physics the other day. Now I am probably the farthest thing from a scientist that ever lived but even I can see the implications that quantum physics has about how things work in the world. According to quantum physics, everything is made up of energy. This energy vibrates at different frequencies, thereby giving us the illusion of separation. We are basically all blobs of energy floating around in more energy, surrounded by blobs of energy. We are all connected by what is called the unified field (basically just more energy).

What this means to me is that what some people call New Age, is really Old School, Original Gangster (O.G.) thinking. Thoughts have energy. Words have power. We can connect to a higher source. We are one. The idea of interconnectedness is old. And sacred. And was somehow lost to the people who greedily began to conquer the world some hundreds of years ago (aka white people. Yes I said it). What happened?

My husband is Native Hawaiian. He has many friends who are from various indigenous heritages and I have been blessed to sit around the table with them and listen to them talk story. From my tiny (but growing) understanding, indigenous people all have a belief in the interconnectedness of the people with the land, with each other and with what some might call the spirit world. From what I gather, this interconnectedness is pretty much universal among indigenous people and has held on despite the fact that western people (aka white people… again) have been doing their best to wipe Native peoples and their beliefs off the face of the Earth for several hundred years now. Native people see themselves as caretakers of the land. It is a sacred law. Take a look at what’s going on at Standing Rock. I can barely stand to read the news; it has made me sob uncontrollably many times. The Water Protectors are living out their sacred responsibility. They are doing this for everyone. When all the water is poisoned, what are we going to drink?

This sacred responsibility of the Native Peoples extends to humans as well; in caring for each other. One friend told us that in her tribe The Great Law is that if there isn’t enough food for everyone to eat, then no one eats. I felt my eyes filling with tears when she told me that because, really, this is how the world should be. Why isn’t it? I’ll tell you… the world is like this because people don’t share. We consume and collect and hoard and then throw away things that we’re bored with or have rotted or turned to dust while others are forced to rummage through our trash, hoping for a few bottles to exchange for a packet of bologna or a McDonalds happy meal.

So how to have inner peace when there is so much outer chaos? To me I have to believe in the goodness and love that is within all these blobs of energy that surround me. I have to believe in the goodness and love that is in myself. Then I have to extend my goodness and my love and my positive energy outward; knowing, trusting and believing that this energy, this love has power and that it can change the world. I focus on this love knowing that what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said is truth: Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Let us all unite our light and our love and drive out the darkness that has somehow overtaken us. Let us live surrounded by, and filled with, and extending love.

Aloha

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Inner Peace

I’ve recently added meditation to my daily routine. I’m not gonna lie. ..That shit is hard. I’m told it gets easier, but I have to say that every time I sit down and start to quiet my mind, all these thoughts about how much crap I need to get done start to bubble up and stress me out. Or else I fall asleep. So ya. I need to keep working on it.

I know these thoughts are coming up because of my false beliefs and fears. Most likely something I have stuck in my head is I need to do everything myself. In fact I know that thought is stuck in there. And I need to get it out. Because really, it’s impossible to do everything yourself. Having been a single mom for 16 years, I pretty much had to do everything. By myself. At least that’s what I thought at the time and so I continued to perpetuate that thinking (and still perpetuate it and let it stress me out). But I’m ready to give up that thinking. Right here. Right now. Because it’s untrue. And it is limiting.

My mantra for today is I am a magnet for miracles. Real miracles are shifts in our thinking that free us from our past fear-based thinking and turn us towards love and abundance. It’s not always easy, just like forgiving isn’t easy, but it’s possible if the desire and intent are there. The first step is being aware of your thoughts because thoughts are fucking sneaky. They creep in there and become so habitual that you feel as if you can’t control them. That’s called anxiety. And it sucks.

But the truth is that the only thing that you can control is your own thinking. And that is awesome news because when you control how you look at things, you control your perception and that means that you control your reality. So today begin your journey towards inner peace by realizing that whatever it is that is stressing you out, or making you feel less than awesome, is something that you can change just by changing your own mind. Set that intention and work until you achieve it. That’s the key though. You can’t just set your intention and then go watch TV. You have to work to achieve it. You have to sit through those meditations and consciously work on changing your negative thinking patterns. You need to rid yourself of toxic people and emotions. You need to do whatever it is that you need to do: ask for help, pray, read a book, say a mantra, use some essential oils or crystals, whatever resonates within you to do. I’m not saying it’s easy. But if you truly want it, you will be willing to put in the work and it will happen. Today we can all be magnets for miracles.

Now get to work.

Aloha pumehana

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Yes you are Unicat. Yes you are.

Forgiveness

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On the path to  self love and inner peace there are many road blocks. The biggest one for many people is forgiveness. There is a mistaken belief that forgiving someone means that what they did was ok. But forgiveness is more about yourself than it is about the other person. It means that, regardless of what someone did to you (or what you did that you need to forgive yourself for), YOU are ok. You are who you have always been; who you always will be. It is connecting with your soul and realizing that, despite whatever horrors you may have endured, you are whole and you are at peace.

I am finding myself fascinated with many things about the Hawaiian culture. While I am only beginning my studies, I am already enamored with the wisdom and simplicity of the spiritual teachings. It is like finding pieces to a puzzle that you’ve been trying to put together your entire life. Let’s take forgiveness as an example…

In Hawaiian, the term hala is used to describe an act of wrong doing committed by or against another. Moke Kupihea, in his book The Cry of the Huna says,

A hala was an act that bound the wrongdoer to the person against whom the wrong was committed. It was said that, on the one hand, wrongdoers are bound by the fault they have committed and, on the other hand, those who have been wronged hold the cord that binds the wrongdoer. One, it was said, is the debtor, the other, the person or persons indebted to. The hala, then, is the debt that lies between them. It was the belief of the people of old that if those who hold the invisible cord do not desire to relax it but continue to bear the wrong in mind, or in its active state of wrongfulness, then they are said to “hold fast the fault,” ho’o hala hala.

He then goes on to describe how a wrong can spread generationally and “can travel into future generations of a family, a people or even a nation if such is the vastness of the fault.” This can only make people dissatisfied and prone to violence. It is as if they are strangling on the cord of the hala.

It is impossible to be at peace and to hold a grudge at the same time. No matter how vast are the wrongs committed against you, to hold onto them means to continue to suffer. To feel that you need to wait until someone apologizes or offers reparations is to basically put your own wellbeing on hold. If you’re hoping for reparations, you can still have that after forgiveness has occurred. In fact, it is more likely that the person who wronged you will offer up reparations if you come to them from a place of forgiveness and peace than of accusation and blame. No need to wait. The time for forgiveness is today because, let’s face it… shit happens. Bad, unthinkable, horrific shit sometimes, sadly happens. To everyone. But it doesn’t need to cause endless suffering.

I know you’re probably saying to yourself right now, “She doesn’t know me. She doesn’t know how crazy hateful my childhood was. She doesn’t know about how my step dad sexually abused me for years… ” Or maybe your saying, “Ya, but you don’t know the horrible things I’ve done in my life. I’ve done and said unspeakable things.” You’re right. I don’t know what happened in your past. But I know what happened in mine and believe me, it was pretty fucked up. So fucked up in fact that I had to go to hypnotherapy because I had repressed the worst of the fuckedupness (yes I just made that word up). So if I can learn how to forgive that crazy ass shit, then you can too. Because to not forgive it, is to have your life permanently tainted by it forever.

Now I’m in no way saying that forgiveness is easy. It is hard as hell. But it is possible. For me, it helps to be in a calm, meditative state. I am a big fan of using essential oils to help uplift my emotions so I apply that shit all over (I’m not even kidding right now). Be sure to use the highest quality oils (I use Young Living) or else you’re not doing yourself any favors. Next I envision the person who wronged me standing in front of me. I imagine telling that person what he or she did that hurt me and how it affected me. I then say to that person, “I forgive you. I release you. And I set you free. You are free and I am free.” I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I have to do this repeatedly. Whenever I feel anger or thoughts about whatever negative thing happened bubbling up, I just repeat this process.

You, today, right now, have the opportunity to free yourself from whatever perceived wrongs (no matter how horrific) happened in your past. I guarantee you that you can do it and that you are going to feel so much lighter for having let go of that horrendous burden. Forgiveness needs to take place in the present so that healing can occur in the future. What are you waiting for?

Aloha nui loa

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Dogs always forgive themselves.

Release

A few years ago I read a book called “You Can Heal Your Life” by Louise Hay. This book actually changed my life. Louise was able to heal herself from cancer through forgiveness, positive affirmations and changing her own thought processes. It is her belief that every illness, every pain we endure is caused by our own negative thinking. I have come to believe and embrace this.

One thing I noticed after reading this book is that often my own thoughts had included the words, “I’m not good enough.” This thought had become so ingrained in my thinking that I wasn’t even aware that it was constantly in my head. It took concentrated focus and meditation for me to even realize that it was there. Our thought patterns can become so habitual that we feel powerless to change them. But we can change them. We just have to decide that we are going to change and to keep going no matter how difficult it may be.

Being aware of my own negative thinking was the first step in changing my own beliefs about myself and about the world. My life has subsequently changed dramatically since then. One of Louise Hay’s affirmations that I started using (and still continue to use) is, “I am willing to release the need to feel unworthy. I am worthy of all the best things in life and I now lovingly choose to accept them.” I then go on to add all the things that I want in my life… “I am worthy of love and I accept it now. I am worthy of freedom and I accept it now. I am worthy of prosperity and I accept it now…”

I encourage you to try this. Say it out loud. Write it down. Look at yourself in the mirror and say it. If you’re willing to give essential oils a try while writing affirmations, I recommend a blend called Release by Young Living. Much of our negative energy is stored on our liver. Try applying Release over your liver area (front and back just under your right breast area) in a circular motion. As the feelings bubble up, work on releasing them; just imagine them blowing away in the wind. If there are people (including yourself) that you need to forgive, be sure to practice that as well. I will be talking more about forgiveness this month as well.

The first step towards really loving yourself is to release your need to feel unworthy (if things in your life aren’t going the way you would like, you probably have feelings of being unworthy whether you realize it or not). Apply and diffuse Release and practice this affirmation and I can almost guarantee you that you will realize whatever it is that is causing you to feel unworthy. Hint: it’s always something you made up about yourself and it’s always a lie.

For more information about Young Living or to become a wholesale member click here.

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Radical Self Care

Recently I’ve been introduced to the concept of radical self care. In a nutshell, radical self care (let’s just call it RSC) is about putting your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual needs first.  We’ve been programmed in our culture to believe that this is selfish; that we should be putting others, our jobs, our relationships, etc. first. But, let’s face it, if we don’t take care of our own needs, we aren’t going to be much good to anyone else. People are stressed and disconnected; depression and anxiety have reached epidemic proportions. I seriously know more people who are anxious, stressed out, depressed or all three than I know people who are balanced and happy. This is not how we are meant to live our lives. And we don’t need to.

I’ve been going to a yoga class here in Honolulu and we have been discussing the idea of self love and how that includes forgiveness. The instructor, Jonathan Nery is Native Hawaiian and knowledgable in the Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono (reconciliation and forgiveness). He’s been taking some aspects of Ho’oponopono and infusing them into our yoga practice.  I’ve been bringing some essential oils to help with releasing and forgiving toxic emotions. The combination of the two has been very healing! I feel like a new person when I leave that class! Forgiving yourself and others is definitely radical self care. It is freedom.

Take some time right now just for yourself. Think about activities that make your heart soar. Here are some ideas of activities that can be nurturing to your soul: yoga, walking or just spending time in nature, coloring, crafting, exercise (that you actually enjoy), cooking for pleasure, sports, getting a massage, meditating, sleeping in, enjoying the company of friends, unplugging (turning off all electronic devices), creating, living in the moment (mindfulness), reading, diffusing essential oils and just being… There are so many ways that we can honor ourselves. My challenge to you is to spend some time each day caring for the most important person in your life… yourself.